Drinking too much is a hard subject to tackle

Natalie Cassidy is taking back ex Adam Cottrell, who is violent when he drinks.

If your partner is drinking too much you have to confront him about it in a way that will make him listen and respond. Here’s how.

• Before you decide to confront your partner first read up on alcoholism and its symptoms it’s important to learn the facts so that you know what  you are talking about and your argument is logical not guess work.
• If you are concerned that your partner is drinking too much. Sit him down on a weekend or at lunchtime when you have free time and your partner is sober. Do it at home when there is just the two of you, so he doesn’t feel humiliated or shamed. Practice and rehearse what you want to say and make it clear that you feel your partner is drinking too much and because you love him you are concerned about his long term health and the possibility that he could lose his job, driving license etc.
• Be specific. Tell him what you’ve noticed about his drinking and what concerns you i.e. “I’ve noticed you’ve been drinking a lot and much more frequently too” and  “I’m worried because it’s affecting your concentration/temperament/memory”. Tell him how it affects you and makes you feel as he may be oblivious to the effect it is having on you. Don’t accuse him, just state how you feel and back it up with some examples of recent behaviour.
• Offer some specific solutions and assistance like:  “Why don’t we both have a few weeks completely drink free” or “We can get some leaflets from AA or look into counselling or I can come with you to discuss this with our GP.”
• If your partner is in denial, it may be worth recording some footage to show him how he behaves when drunk or noting specific times when he is aggressive or behaved badly through drink and point it out to him, making it clear that this has to stop.
• If he ignores you go to Alanon where you will get support, as living with a drinker is hard and you can find out what you can do to help him. You need to know about drinking  and its implications and everything you need is at Alanon including places where he can get help.
• If he stops be patient don’t expect too much  and don’t worry if he craves sugar or junk while not drinking. This is normal  as when drinkers stop they crave sugar to replace the sugar they were getting in alcohol.
• Make sure you have plenty of healthy food and snacks at home and don’t plan social events for a while – just until he gets used to not drinking.

There’s always someone you can speak to if you think your partner is drinking too much. You can always read my Stop Drinking page for more advice.